I’m not really sure who the award is for.

holla holla holla.

So pets now have Facebook.  I think that’s really dumb/sad.  But now!  Unborn children?  I know a girl that has created a Facebook page for her UNBORN son.  His middle name is ‘Unborn’ on his page.  This kid will never know a life without Facebook.

People trust me.  I have a baby face, I’m polite, and when push comes to shove:  I’m a pretty decent friend.  So naturally when a friend goes out of town I am asked to watch after their apartments/pets/plants.

This all started when I moved to Ohio and right off the bat I was asked by the FLIFFMORE* family to watch their home.  My parents were health nuts so we never got things like Poptarts or cheesedoodlez.  There was also the time my mother snapped and we lost cable.  The FLIFFMORES* were stocked.  Needless to say, things went missing and television was watched without interruption.  I could care less what MRS. FLIFFMORE* had stored in her medicine cabinet.  So I found LITTLE TOMMY FLIFFMORE’S gay porn underneath his mattress?  BIG DEAL.  I was in it for what mattered:  junkfood and cable. 

Many hours were spent at the FLIFFMORE’S house snackin’ and relaxin’.  If anyone is going out of town and needs someone to look after their home/watch Fluffy/or water cactus, let me know.  Just a forewarning:  your Poptarts aren’t safe and your electric bill might be a little higher.

*Original names withheld